It's not all bad. My son got a job and can pay some of his rent now and I'm very happy about that. My two younger ones are learning cartwheels, headstands and dancing and singing and really having a great summer. My second to youngest has found a huge love for God and Jesus and I hope it continues to grow.
My teen daughter is doing ok with her homeschooling. She does have a hard time keeping out of drama and seems to always be getting hurt by her friends. She's also still pretty upset about her father and her relationship. She and her sisters recently found out that their dad has proposed and is getting married. She and my second to youngest took it bad. I mean actual screams and tears..
I wished he had worked on their relationship with his children before he proposed, but I can't fix what he does or doesn't do. I can't help when they cry or hurt or miss him so much. I can only be there for them to hug and love them.
Today my teen daughter got into some real trouble.. And I honestly don't even know how to handle it. It's huge. There will be a court appearance.. So now she's home and we haven't spoken about it. I can tell she is feeling stupid, ashamed and just not ready to talk. And I'm not either. I don't know whether to scream, start taking everything from her or sit and talk. But, I've talked and talked for years. Obviously, it hasn't worked.. So I guess we will talk soon. We have to!! I have to tell her how I feel, what her punishments are, etc. Right now, I just want to throw up, cry or just sleep...
And to top it off, I got a bug up my butt to actually 'try' again.. that is, try at my own goals again. So, I've been trying to get up enough nerve to drive out to the community college to talk to an advisor about taking classes to be a licensed practical nurse.
But my anxiety is in overdrive. I used to only need one anxiety pill a day and now, I can end up taking 3.. Don't get me wrong, I won't quit, not on my kids and not on me.. But, WOW, It's not easy!!!
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