One crazy week!

My youngest ones had a wonderful week at vacation bible school and I was so proud of myself for getting them there. Every summer, I mean to register and take them to it, but I end up wanting to sleep in instead. But honestly, who am I kidding, they never let me sleep in anyway. But tomorrow they have their last day and then it's the big musical skit they put on and dinner and I couldn't be more excited!! 

On the other hand, my son is still struggling with money, but he did get a part time job!! I'm so proud and happy for him! This is going to be huge for his self esteem and paying his own bills. 

Then my silly 16 yr old was doing dishes as I had asked her to do and at the same time, she tried to make pasta. But ended up spilling the boiling water over on her hand. It looked awful and she was screaming so bad. I raced her to the er and they dressed it and gave her a shot of morphine. So far, she's healing up pretty well. But, there was a moment when after her father told me, "No", he couldn't help me with her meds that I was nearly brought to tears. I couldn't let her go through the night with a 2nd degree burn with no pain meds, but I didn't get money until the next day. So I stood there literally digging through my purse for change. And when I somehow found just enough change for her pain meds, I had tears in my eyes and chills all over! I knew God must have helped me out with that moment!! 

But, it was that moment that made me rush home and look at the credits I have in college already because I want more for my babies! I don't want to ever have to feel helpless when it comes to not having money for something one of my children needs. I always make out just fine, but emergencies are not in the budget and there is no savings, so something has to change! And it just may be this year that I start making that change! 

I love these kids, I love my boyfriend, but my children are my responsibility and if their daddy is too busy or just doesn't want to help, then I need to step up and be everything they need! 

I won't lie, I'm scared of failure! Scared of getting overwhelmed! Scared of having more panic/anxiety attacks! But, not so scared that I won't try to show my girls and my son to always try to better yourself, to reach for more and I'm not to scared to try to do more and make more for my children, boyfriend and myself. 

So for the love of my children, I am going to do better, learn more and i am going to try and earn my degree! 

It's better late than never.