Back to school for the kids... AND FOR ME!!!!

Waiting for my latest homework assignment to upload... And I sit here wondering if I can actually do this. I know its all new, going to school, but its been so hard and even though the school work is challenging, that's not whats been so hard. Its the kids and the housework!!  Don't get me wrong, Zach is a huge help!! I knew they were spoiled, but geesh!! Becca is having major headaches and they started about a week or more ago. Now they just won't go away with any pain killers. I'm worried about her! So I have that to deal with that and a doctor apt for her later today. Hopefully, that will bring some answers. But, even if she is feeling better, umm she will still have dishes and left over food in her room. I know that's typical, I remember my brother being awful about that. I used to help mom and would find the most disgusting things in his room. But, even the little ones, they go for one snack and then I find jelly everywhere. They are so creative and have great imaginations, but anyone with a creative kid always on the go, knows that means a big mess mostly everyday that they don't clean up!!
How can I be there for my kids, get their school forms done, doctor apts made, give them my love and actually do well in school at the same time?? Im so excited to finally be on my way, but scared to death that Im going to fail or my house is going to be a sticky crumby mess!! Sticky floors and counters make me cringe like fingernails on a chalkboard kinda cringe!! We went to the beach before I started classes and I hadn't quite unpacked and cleaned up after the trip before I started getting ready for school. My youngest was tired and having a mean moment when she screamed, Your house is a mess! I swear that killed me! Being told that I had a dirty house is one of the worst cut downs for me!!
I have 6 'A's in one of my classes already, but we do our work in class. My other class, we get homework and here I am trying to catch up and hope to go to the bay this weekend and I just don't see it happening.
Ugh. Anyway, Just needed to rant a lil while my file uploaded..
As the lil train once said, I think I can! I think I can!!
Oh and my sweet 16 year old even caught a pic of me on my first day back to school. LOL
Here I am.. Ready to go!!

One crazy week!

My youngest ones had a wonderful week at vacation bible school and I was so proud of myself for getting them there. Every summer, I mean to register and take them to it, but I end up wanting to sleep in instead. But honestly, who am I kidding, they never let me sleep in anyway. But tomorrow they have their last day and then it's the big musical skit they put on and dinner and I couldn't be more excited!! 

On the other hand, my son is still struggling with money, but he did get a part time job!! I'm so proud and happy for him! This is going to be huge for his self esteem and paying his own bills. 

Then my silly 16 yr old was doing dishes as I had asked her to do and at the same time, she tried to make pasta. But ended up spilling the boiling water over on her hand. It looked awful and she was screaming so bad. I raced her to the er and they dressed it and gave her a shot of morphine. So far, she's healing up pretty well. But, there was a moment when after her father told me, "No", he couldn't help me with her meds that I was nearly brought to tears. I couldn't let her go through the night with a 2nd degree burn with no pain meds, but I didn't get money until the next day. So I stood there literally digging through my purse for change. And when I somehow found just enough change for her pain meds, I had tears in my eyes and chills all over! I knew God must have helped me out with that moment!! 

But, it was that moment that made me rush home and look at the credits I have in college already because I want more for my babies! I don't want to ever have to feel helpless when it comes to not having money for something one of my children needs. I always make out just fine, but emergencies are not in the budget and there is no savings, so something has to change! And it just may be this year that I start making that change! 

I love these kids, I love my boyfriend, but my children are my responsibility and if their daddy is too busy or just doesn't want to help, then I need to step up and be everything they need! 

I won't lie, I'm scared of failure! Scared of getting overwhelmed! Scared of having more panic/anxiety attacks! But, not so scared that I won't try to show my girls and my son to always try to better yourself, to reach for more and I'm not to scared to try to do more and make more for my children, boyfriend and myself. 

So for the love of my children, I am going to do better, learn more and i am going to try and earn my degree! 

It's better late than never.